


who he is

by idioticthoughts



Category: One Direction
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 21:43:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticthoughts/pseuds/idioticthoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sometimes harry thinks he wouldn't exist without louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	who he is

**Author's Note:**

> once again, i wrote this on my phone on the bus ride home from school so the formatting is weird (oh well). there's no real plot as this was more of a character/relationship study but it is what it is. i also need to stop writing in all lowercase - it's a bad habit and i apologize sincerely. oh, and i'm considering turning this into a more detailed, plot-heavy chaptered work but i'm not sure yet so leave feedback pleaaase as it would be greatly appreciated!!!

harry is whoever louis thinks he is. no more, no less. he's the sum of louis' quietest thoughts and hopes, the product of louis' favorite quirks and imperfections. he tries to see himself through his own eyes but the boy staring back at him belongs to louis and that boy is harry.

louis likes opposites and that's what harry is. louis is short, harry is tall. louis is all loud jokes and laughter and harry is subdued ramblings and dimpled smiles. louis likes his tea black and harry likes his with milk and two sugars. if they were colors, one would be black and the other white. this part is simple.

the other things are harder. sometimes harry doesn't know how to fit into the boy louis sees. he doesn't know how to hold back tears, doesn't know how to defy.

he watches louis protect them and he wants to do the same, wants to keep louis safe and his, forever. but his tongue seems to get tied up and harry fades, submissive and silent against the background. and still, that's a part of who louis makes him.

louis shapes his worst qualities into something beautiful, molding harry's compliance into trust and blindfolds and shaking knees behind closed doors. it's not the kind of thing that anybody else sees, nobody but louis and harry but as long as louis sees, harry sees.

louis has dreams, lots of dreams filled with wedding bands and little feet on hardwood floors and harry can feel himself growing into these dreams. it's years into the future but harry slides easily into himself, making hopeful little remarks about settling down and growing up. he loves the way it makes louis light up from the inside out, smiling up at harry and it's like looking straight at the sun.

sometimes harry loses sight of who he is, after those horrible meetings and interviews and tabloids and he can't seem to remember until louis is by his side with gentle hands and soft kisses. it's only then that harry comes back to himself.

the other boys joke that they're lost without each other but it's true. it's why harry's got a ship on his arm and louis has a compass on his. louis guides harry, filling him up and easing him through the treacherous waters.

harry is terrified of losing louis because that would mean losing himself as well. he whispers that into the night sometimes, when louis is curled up against his side but only when he's sure that louis is asleep. there's always an acute sense of fear running through harry's mind and he often wonders what louis is scared of, if his nightmares are the same.

but most days are good. louis is always next to him and he keeps harry grounded. harry knows where he belongs with louis, knows who he is. 

harry can read louis and whatever louis needs, he is. there are times when louis turns red around the ears and clenches his fists so tightly he leaves half moon imprints in his palms. that's when harry steps in with steady arms and takes louis' hand in his, pulls his fingers out of a fist and interlocks them with his. harry knows that when louis is upset he stares at his feet a lot and toes the ground, scuffing up his vans with a fierce sort of sadness. that's when harry becomes louis' sunshine, tickling his sides and googling dumb jokes until louis stops kicking at the ground and starts glancing over at harry with quiet eyes that crinkle a bit around the corners.

being louis' is like second nature to harry. it's like breathing, expect better, because it feels like he's giving life to louis. harry loves louis so much that it feels like his heart might burst and expand across infinite galaxies and universes. he's loved him since the first moment they met, eyes locking and hearts stopping over the dingy bathroom sink. and the feeling in harry's chest hasn't stopped since then, will never stop, he doesn't think because he's never loved anybody like he loves louis.

harry thinks he'd give up anything for louis, everything, really. he's looked past the fame and money and behind it all is louis. louis is all he needs. as long as he's got louis, he's got himself. and the two of them have love beyond belief. harry would be okay with a new reality, one with just him and louis and love. 

it's easy, being louis'. it's all harry wants to be.


End file.
